The invisible women

“Delhi me bhi sab ese hi paani hai?” (Is delhi too surrounded by water?)

“Nahi Amma, thode bahot pahad hain bas” (No amma, there’s just some mountains)- I answered in a very short manner, but her question startled me.

Both of us stood on the deck of the ship “Coral Queen” on our way to Swaraj dweep. She, in her 70s, was a copassenger. I was quietly leaning on the edge, with my earphones plugged in to play the favorite music, enjoying the serenic beauty of the ferry ride from Port blair to Swaraj dweep (erstwhile known as Havelock island).

A lady colleague of mine walked upto me to say that she was very happy about being able to travel around the nation after a tedious journey of clearing the CSE exam. It is indeed a pain to be packed in a room for years while preparing for sn unpredictable exam. Let’s call my colleague as Ms Riti for the purpose of this post (with an obvious intent of protecting her privacy). She and I were discussing how this trip has shown us much more than what we knew otherwise. We discussed about our favorite travel destinations and how would we plan our travel when we join in our respective districts. After an intense discussion of a few minutes, we broke the parley and I went back to the ocean of my thoughts, while looking at the volcanic mountains of the Andamans.

Suddenly I saw amma approaching me. Honestly, I asked for her name twice, but it was a rather unique name and I barely remember it now. When i realized that she was going to try talking, I pulled my earbuds out. She asked me if i was a student. Now the best way to building great conversations is to simply hide intimidating facts. So i did not tell her about my real profession, and said that we are a group of students on a study tour to havelock.

She asked me where am I from, and I told her that I am coming from Delhi. She told about her 5 children, all of them working males. She mentioned that her youngest one was my age and was working in Mumbai. For sake of ease – I am mentioning the entire conversation in English here:

“I came to the deck to chew tobacco. They don’t allow me to consume it inside.”

“Why eat it amma, it is bad for health.”

“I am perfectly fit. I just lost all my teeth to diseases, everything else is perfect”

With that she put some tobacco in her toothless mouth and made an attempt to chew it.

“Have you been to Mumbai, Amma?”

“Nah. I have only been to here. I was from Dumka. I got married when I was 10-12 years old. Then i left home to see great lands and sea. I came here and was awed by ita beauty. But then these islands became my world. I have not been outside these islands for my life ever since.”

A chill spread through my spine in a fraction of a second. I did not know how to react to the news of someone being stuck to 842 sq km for their entire life. And even this area in it’s entirity is not accessible to her.

“Is delhi too surrounded by water?”

“No amma, there’s just some mountains.”

“Just like these mountains here?”

“No amma, those are tiny compared to these.”

She then went on to tell how the journey was going to be 1.5 hours more and she planned to spend that time sleeping. She left. But she had left a lot of food for thought for me.

On one hand we live in a nation where women are shining in various fields. They are winning awards and accolades. They’re becoming civil servants and doing wonders by standing for their fellow citizens. They’ve seen the nation and the world, and are well worse with the worldly affairs. On the other hand we have many ammas that fail to see the world beyond their town.

When we speak of empowerment, our approach is always lopsided. We say that women need to shoulder the responsibility of their own empowerment. How often do we realize that in most cases there is not a single soul supporting the women. The subjection has been enforced and reinforced so many times that it has become the new normal. It is such banality that is fatal. When women are such oppressed that they don’t even know that they are being opressed is the worst possible scenario.

What is empowerment then? It is simply the ability of our nation to shift the majority of women from the situation of “Amma” to that of “Riti”. “The eye cannot see what the mind does not know”. They have to know their rights. They have to see the world outside the islands that we have limited them to.

I am not prescribing any solution to this effect. There’s a lot that is already well researched and being implemented on the ground. These efforts will take a long time to fructify. Till then we have to ensure that we do everything possible to support the cause. While we may not be responsible for “Ammas” of today, Ultimately it is our generation that will be responsible for the Ammas of tomorrow.

Let the world be a place where every amma gets a chance to be Riti. Let her have the wings that will enable them to fly across the gap, and be an independent butterfly.